Head out to Sin City, and you might be shocked: you’ll see a lot of Peter Cottontails runnin’ all over the place! That’s right: the city of sin has fallen prey to the ultimate apocalypse, apparently: rabid bunny rabbits. Everywhere.
You’ll actually find a crapload of them near Summerlin munching on all the carrots, parsley and greens they can find, but what’s funny is that these critters are not wild! They’re ABANDONED.
Here’s the sad part (and the confusing part, as we can’t figure out why this seems to be isolated only in Vegas) — rabbits are the most abandoned animal in the United States — more than any other pet. Sure, that’s not that big a deal until you realize just how good rabid bunny rabbits are at multiplying:
A mother rabbit only has to wait 30 freakin’ days before giving birth to as many as 14 babies. That’s a short pregnancy. And what’s worse? — after giving birth, that mommy’s capable of getting pregnant right away. So, in other words, rabbits are the plague God could have used on Egypt — instead of locusts or frogs. Just sayin’. Those bitches can OVERRUN YOU.
In fact, the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals-Angell Animal Medical Center (we’ll just call this damn place the MSPCAAAMC for short) states that a female bunny can produce 800 f*cking babies, grandbabies, and great-grandbabies in ONE DAMN YEAR. That’s a lot of rabbits.
Shit. We need to move to Hawaii or something.